Nolgastic memories

Looking forward to the holiday

My last exam will be on Oct 3rd and I will get a long holiday after that until end of Oct. I have planned many things to do during break but in reality, I might not be doing all the things ( financial limit) ,you know what I am talking about. haha
Anyhow, I've talked with Austin and he agreed to take me to Siam Park which I ever wanted to go once before I graduate. I used to go there once with my family back in 2006 also in October (if my memory serves me right). Now, we will be going there again. Yayyy!
I believe it's gonna be fun and we will take good pictures,eating nice foods, swimming and playing in park. I have been waiting for this day for so long since last year. Austin's friends are not sure about going with us but we decided , actually I decided to get a cheaper ticket to save money to spend in other things. With or without them, I'm still fine as long as we two can enjoy our time. Austin seems bored to go with me alone but he will try to convince his friends to take photos for us.
By the way, my mom wants me to come back during the break but I want to stay at home and rest. I lose some weights and that will make her sad when she sees me. That's the one reason and I don't feel like traveling during my relax time too. So, she will probably fly to me before my last semester ends. I am really sorry for her cause I know she miss me and I miss her too. Anyway, I will try to gain some weights back plus I start taking multivitamins to boost up my system.
Hopefully, I won't be skinny girl in my last semester. Fingers crossed to gain weight! lol

He is an ass!

Last night, we had a long talk and I asked him if he ever cheated on me in these years. He told me he didn't but he admitted that he did flirted with some girls. He said it's just for fun, nothing serious and all guys doing it. He said I am the only one he love and the girls are nothing compare to me. I mean why he still doing this if he really loves me.
He flirted with girls especially when we got into fights or when he frustrated with something. This is bullshit! And there's no reasons to flirt with girls to make you feel better. It's just ridiculous! What do these girls think about me? They would probably think I am the cheap bitch who doesn't know her guy is obviously flirting with them. I feel so shameful, insecure and piss off at him. He said he felt guilty after all he was doing these things. Seriously, what do he take me for?
Ughh, what did I do to him to treat me like this?
I understand guys will do guys things but he's my man and everyone knows that we have been dating for more than 3years. If my family find out that, I probably have to dump him to save for myself from evil bf.
He thinks he's smart, chick-magnet and every girls would fall for him if he pull off his zipper, far more than that. haha
He told me he won't do this anymore and he will give me all his passwords when I move to S'pore. Let's see what he will do when I'm not around. He will learn it in hard way that freedom doesn't sweet without me.

Am I being pathetic?

So far I have been in relationship for more than 3years and that make me to scare of losing it. I am scare that he might get bored of me seeing same face every single day, having sex with the same person over and over and going out with me every time. I tried to put myself into his position and give him some space but I just couldn't. I'm too jealous of every girls he is dealing with, not including his classmates. The young girls might take over my place at any time and he himself told me once that he likes girls with nice boobies and ass which it totally not me.
I feel insecure, tired of stalking his all spacious online activities still he can't help himself being flirty. He told me I'm greedy and super possessive. When it comes to love, you need to be proactive in order to protect it. That's the only way I know and I have no idea how to love a person in proper way. I can't leave him alone where there're many cute girls around him plus he being such a teaser, that would create new episode which I would be played as a villain. Damn he is an ass! I doubt that is he really mean when he said those flirty words. He should behave himself as everyone knows me as his gf and they might think that I can't handle the horny bf. That is simply embarrassing! I suppose to be studying for Final exam by now but I can't just sleep. Sigh** I have to go back to study in order to pass with C, may be C+? I will upload more later. Keep in touch with me guys. (nobody read my blog anyway, I sound like real idiot now) haha..okay Bye!

moving on

There's something in my head lately that is about me and my friends from high school. So much nostalgia these days. Today is the birthday of one of my closest friend from high school (not any more). I did something that she would pissed off and she never told me about that. So, I never had a chance to make up with her, I don't know what's got into her mind. I do like her since we were best mates ever in high school. I know it's partially my fault, I don't know how to face her or explain the misunderstanding that she never brought up to me. She kept quiet and I guess that pushed us to become strangers, well almost. Sometimes, we have short conversations when we met on street, restaurants, etc. And that's all! We haven't had real conversation for like more than a year. Frankly, that makes me kinda sad. I tried to get closer to her after all these things happened but she moved to another place and made new friends and hanged out with them. So, no more chances for me. I really wished I could have said sorry to her at least once but she never told me how she felt about it. Anyway, now I have to admit that I'm jealous of her having her good time with her new buddies and me alone with Austin. That must be punishment from Heaven for me being meddle into something that I shouldn't have. I will be leaving this place may be after graduation around March. So, we won't be seeing each others for rest of our life, unless I tried to meet with her. She seems to move on for what happened , i guess I need to move on too by now. I just wanna say thank you for being with me for last last year, I did have a good time with you. Without you, I will not make this far. Good luck with everything you're doing! Bye.

Planning for my future

These day, my mind is packed with all the thoughts of moving out to S'pore where I think it's the better workplace for me. As far as I research about the life in there, it won't be easy happy life but I will go for my self improvement.So, here's the plan! I will find a job that will fit me in a way that I can grow my ability, my skill, my career and of course to stuff my fluffy pocket.Then, I will fly to there and take the interviews. If yes, I will stay. If not keep on hunting. I believe there will be one job out there that will need me and suit with my personality. I tried not to depress about something I haven't try yet. Working in BKK is a not bad idea either but when I look at myself and see for the near future like next 2yrs or 3yrs. I guess I'd be more happy with the pennies I would earn in S'pore more. My income proportion would be like that, 1/4 of it will go to savings, another would be for my home back in YGN, another would be to spend for myself and the rest will be pretty much used for home and utility, transportation, foods ,etc. I wish I could earn more than 2000$/month within my first year of working. Who knows, it all depend on my luck and job itself. So, we'll see ..eh? Another major dream would go to Austin. I had my own plan to call him to S'pore and then he can find a job , we can stay together , saving up for our future. sighh, speaking of marriage, I think we need to take at least 3/4yrs for us to have our own world.
As long as he's with me, I'm fine because I know he's the one I gonna be with till the end of my life. We will have beautiful kids with manly thick eyebrows, flirty long eyelashes, with prominent nose bridge..all combined would be perfect match. Well, I guess I went a bit far with my daydreaming. Until next post, I will stop here and go back to study. Good Night internet! (ugh., I have no life)

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog!

Hello everybody,
Just a quick greeting from my personal blog,it's gonna be more causal. My school life, my family, my bf, friends,my lovely pet(no longer) , foods, things, people, places, reviews and thoughts. I would be posting as much as I can since I got some free time during this semester. Senior year in school gives me some feeling that I would be leaving the school soon. Sad but thinking about graduation makes me exciting. I want to keep everything happened in my life as a record just in case I lost my memory ( just saying). :D
Feel free to drop by to my blog & leave some nice comments to show that you care. Alright, last not least I'm gonna have dinner & take shower now. Already late for preparing my new blog , take a while of adjusting things to look better. Anyway, have a sweet weekend people! Good night.